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I just worked my way through the Side Mission "Birthplace" to get a feeling how you intend to run the series and I'd like to comment this a bit and make a few suggestions. I try not to spoiler anything of the content beyond the default text on the store page.

Store: please consider a category for side missions in the store. There is no way to list those missions at the monent, except in the "new" section.  Edit: Side missions are inside the season folder now.

Background story: While the first half describes pretty much the known background story of Reese in the show - it is logical and comprehensible - the second half begins - without a new paragraph - with quoting keywords no one has heard about, persons one knows little to nothing about and it confused the hell out of me. This felt like bullet points of the document pressed into sentences. Did not enjoy that part. It somewhat got clear after reading the whole document, but that's not the purpose of a background story at the beginning. Please consider adding a few explaining sentences to give at least some context. And write it for someone who hasn't read the document yet! Because no one has at this point! Otherwise just leave it out.

Design: Standard front page, default picture, default content etc., standard back page. This is ok. Rest of the document: No design at all! This looks like a Word document with ugly default boxes and bullet points. Just looking at it made me sad. And no graphics at all! No image, nothing! From a design point of view this is an F. Same with the monster boxes. It just requires a default design like the pages in the core rulebook, nothing fancy. Please consider giving it at least a minimal design.

Opponents: No descriptions in the appendix, no characterization, nothing to work with, not even the default character questions answered. It's just the technical monster values which just isn't enough for an RPG that has Moxie encounters as it's defining characteristic. There should be at least some background text for any opponent.

Story: It's a short story, but I liked it. The overall direction is good, it felt like an SG mission. I'm missing a bit of a visual description now and then or some tiny story hooks for players to side track, which happens regularly on my table. But the core mission description is good.

Encounters: well, you started it, now where can I get an encounter deck? Playing cards work technically, but now I want an encounter deck and there isn't one in your store!



Edited by Hobbster
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